How would you feel if I left
by DreamReaper94
Summary: A oneshot drabble whatever you wanna call it. So Axel asks Roxas how he'd feel if Axel ever left his side. Of course it would hurt Roxas...so what would happen if he were to die? AKUROKU yaoi Don't like, don't read


Disclaimer: If I said I owned Axel and Roxas or Kingdom Hearts….I'd be lying. I don't own them for crap and I only own the story idea and the personality I've placed the two with.(If it is similar to the game persona, then my bad…you can never cut the original all the way through)

Here's a one shot for AkuRoku. Yes, I like yaoi…I like Axel and Roxas paired together(as best friends too) Please do not flame or give nasty disrespectful comments. If you have an opinion that will be related to not liking this oneshot or akuroku or yaoi….leave…right NOW. I am giving you a warning so please leave if you do not like yaoi.

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_**If I was gone…how would you feel?**_

**__**

"Roxas…I think I--I think I love you…" soft whispers came from the redheads mouth. Roxas looked up at the redhead with wide eyes and a look of shock. He placed a hand onto the cheek of the elder teen. "Axel…I know that--" he whispered, raising his lips to the others ear. "--this is some kind of joke, so I'm not believing a damn word that comes out of your mouth" he said sourly, retreating from where the redhead stood at the school gates.

He was forced to wait for a whole half hour for the redhead to finish the essay he'd been threatened to finish. " Regardless…you have all the reason to love me. I DID text you every sentence of that stupid essay you could've remembered to take out of my backpack." he said with a bored expression. Axel looked at the boy and sighed as he tilted his head. "Right…thanks. Here I am, confessing my undying love for you and you shoot me down with words that sting like a rifle. How gorgeous." he finished, slinging his black and red checker messenger bag over his right shoulder.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Whatever…I'd call you gay but you've like what, had 25 girlfriends this school year." he said with sarcasm. Axel chuckled as he ruffled the teens hair. "Oh Rox, with you I'd be as straight as a line. We all know that you're just a late bloomer and haven't experienced womanhood quite yet. Any day now you'll be screaming that your bleeding." he said with a smirk. He grunted as a fist piled abruptly into his side. "Owwwww….." Axel said, clutching his side. "You hit like a boy, you know that?"

"Say anything like that again and you'll soon _have_ to go transy. You won't have anything to prove you're male anymore…" he said while glaring coldly at the redhead at his left. "Besides…if you _ever_ laid a finger on me…you'd really be a pedo. I mean…you are legal and I have 2 years to go." he said while closing his eyes from aggravation. "Wait…did you just come to the decision of waiting two years before I can have you?" he asked, amused with a smirk. Roxas's eyes opened and stretched. He felt his cheeks begin to heat up.

"Th-That's not what I meant and you know damn well that I didn't." he said. Axel began to walk ahead of the blond and laughed. "Whatever you say short stuff….whatever you say. Well, lets get a move on. Sea salt café closes soon. I'm not trying to miss out on that new ice cream," he said, sighing. Roxas caught up to the redhead, playfully pushing him to the side. "Hey Rox, if I ever disappeared…how would you feel?" Axel asked out of the blue. Roxas cocked one eyebrow up. "What kind of question is that?"

"Well, I'm just asking because I'd been thinking of that time when we first met, in the coffee shop. You were pissed at your step dad for hitting your mother that day and I was just randomly bugging you because I'd seen you around school sometimes," he started. Roxas grimaced remembering the bad feeling he'd had all day when he wondered into the coffee shop for a mocha late. "Yes…I remember. What's that have to do with us?" he asked Axel looked down to the blond with soft eyes.

"You told me I was the only one that had ever understood the way you think. After a while, I began to realize you understood me, too. I was wondering what would happen if I left after building such a good relationship. How would you feel?" he asked, now pushing a stand of hair behind the blonds ear. Roxas had become somewhat fearful as a faint since of anxiety bubbled within his stomach He gulped hard. "Are you…moving or something?" he asked with fear that the answer would be yes.

Axel smiled warmly and brought the boy over under his right arm into an awkward hug. " Now, I believe I was the one asking questions." he said as he released the teen. He looked down to the boy with a soft gaze. "Oh, and tell me the truth, my friend. I should want to know your honest little pure thoughts to overcome my…_unique…_thoughts." he laughed. Roxas looked up at him with knitted brows and a worried expression as he clenched the chain around his neck.

It had been a gift for Roxas that day, in the coffee shop. When Roxas had explained his fear that he would not be able to protect his mother if his step father ever lost his cool again, he handed the teen the weird heart-shaped pendant. It was for…courage. "I don't think…I don't think I could be happy if you left. You've been the only one to ever really get to know me and…it would be so hard for me to find another person who I can share my feelings with. Even if I did find someone, it wouldn't be the same. Axel, you're the only person I can feel this way with-" he half shouted the last part but caught his volume.

He stared up at Axel with anxiety and relief from his confession. What would the older teen think. Did Roxas seem strange to be so affected by a simple question. He tore his eyes away from Axel's face. His eyes had widened slightly in surprise. "Are you…freaked out?" Roxas asked. Silence followed. He looked at the redhead and knitted his eyebrows again. He had his head down and was looking at the ground and anything but Roxas. "Axel," Roxas started.

" I didn't think that you cared this much….for someone like me who is always inconsiderate for the people around them. I'm just …surprised." this time he looked up at the blond. He walked toward the street and stood near the curve to push the button to signal for the crosswalk. "I didn't think you'd be affected by the thought of my leaving. I mean, I get on your nerves a _lot_ and you say it yourself, too. Thanks…Roxas." he said, turning around and smiling. That's when things got out of control.

There was a sudden screeching noise and a loud crashing noise. Screams filled the air as Roxas was bombarded into by a 2007 black Mercedes as he approached the stoplight. He tumbled onto the ground as everything went black. A few minutes passed as he was woken by a girls terrified voice. "OH MY GOD!! I'M SORRYI DIDN'T SEE THE OTHER CAR WHEN MAKING THAT RIGHT TURN!!" she screamed with a teary voice. "Ungh….my side hurt." he whispered with a cracked voice as he woke, face flat on the ground with a bumper on the left side of his arm and a black Mercedes on his right, halfway into a store building.

He was lucky, the car's wheels tilted far enough for him just to get hit by the corner of the bumper. He held his side as he climbed into a sitting position. He looked around and then his eyes widened. There, under the tire of an old to-truck , laid Axel, head to one side with his eyes closed and blood running off his forehead. "A-A-Axel…" he whispered in horror. "No…no…" he said shaking as he rose hastily to feet. He wobbled slightly as he panicked and ran to the older teens side.

"Axel! Are you okay! Wake up!" he yelled as others came rushing over. Six men managed to push the truck from upon the young body. Roxas crawled closer and yelped. His shirt had been ripped and there was a large slash over Axel's chest, blood running freely. Roxas panicked as the blood pooled over his hands. "Ax--el…speak to me!" he yelled as tears gushed from his electric azul crystal eyes. He reached to up Axel's head into his hands until a hand touched his shoulder. There was an ambulance behind him already. "Please, don't. We don't know if he's suffered head trauma yet."

"Who…are you?" he asked with a broken expression of sorrow. "My name is Aerith. I'm a nurse and I'm here to help you. Trust me…we need to help your friend so, let go." she said as she pointed toward to the teens hands. Roxas had been clutching Axel's hand unbelievable tight. He hadn't even realized it yet. She placed her hand onto his. "You can come with us. We need to treat you as well…so please." she said, Roxas's hands automatically releasing. He looked down to his hands, covered with blood, dripping down his wrists.

He let out a sob as he sunk into the woman's arms and began to cry. "Axel!! Help him!" he pleased into her uniform, ignoring the pain from the left side of his body. She nodded and stroked his hair until he was calm enough to stand. He looked painfully to Axel as he was lifted unto a stretcher and carried into a different ambulance. He was still unconscious and showed no signs of moving. He tore his eyes away as the doors closed and he stepped into the other vehicle where Aerith examined the minor cuts and bruises. The soon arrived at the hospital within 10 minutes.

"You seem to have a few cracked ribs, a fractured ankle and a concussion. You'll live." she said patting his shoulder lightly. He cringed. "Will Axel….live?" he asked with pain striking his heart. Tears still falling from his eyes. "Oh, sweety. We…we're not sure, I'm afraid. I haven't the news of his condition other then the fact that he's been sent into intensive care. Although, I'll show you something." she whispered gently. She reached the back of her bow and pulled from it a crystal. "This is something magical…there is a legend of crystals like these, called materia. They say that if you give these crystals your strongest prayers and hope and strength that miracles will happen when given to someone who is having a hard time."

She placed it into Roxas's hands. "It may indeed sound like rubbish but, if you believe-anything can come true. So pray…as hard as you can and fill this crystal with all your hope and then, place it in Axel's hands. It's yours." she finished, closing his fingers around the objects. "Won't you…get into trouble?" he asked. She smiled and placed her hand over the young boys chest. "Don't worry about me. Besides…I can see how much you hold this person dear to you. You seem to love him so very much. If you suffer as much as I'm feeling…then you have every right to see him. Well, right after your cast is fitted and your wounds are treated." she said. He nodded blankly.

Roxas was silent through all the pain of examinations and shots and cast fittings. He was praying with all his might and hope and transferring it into the small orb. He was soon placed into a white hospital room and his eyes were closed as he prayed. Aerith walked in, smiling as she laid eyes on the teen. "Roxas…it's time." she whispered faintly. He rose from his chair and gathered his crutches and together with the nurse made his way down through many halls and finally into secluded part of the hospital. "We don't get too many injured to the extent as your friend so it's pretty quite around here. I'll be waiting in the office down the hall. Come when you're ready."

Roxas entered the room, walking pass empty beds and his head beginning to cloud from his medication. He stopped, glancing up a bed that was surrounded by a circular curtain. "Axel…" he whispered. Axel was the only one here, alone in such a large area. It was somehow peaceful. Absent from the sound of hasty footsteps and voices. Completely quite except for the sound of beeping machines and what seemed to be breathing. Roxas walked over to the curtain, afraid to pull it back.

The sight of Axel covered in blood came back to him and he became nauseated. "I can't…I have to see him. I have to." he said as he pulled the curtain back. Axel was silently asleep, machine breathing for him with an oxygen mask. I.V. in his right arm and other wires at his skin. Tears sprung into Roxas's eyes again as he found a stool to sit beside the redhead. He closed the curtain and sat down. He glanced at a clipboard that was on the bedside table. _Condition: Stable until further notice _had been written. "Thank god…" Roxas said.

He gulped. He reached into the pocket of his hospital gown(he has boxers on too, people) and brought the crystal to his heart. "Please….let this work…at least let him know how much I…want him to stay." he whispered as a tear rolled down his creamy cheek. "He gently placed the orb into Axel's left hand and closed his fingers around it. "Please Axel…be alright. You're going to get better soon. I promise." he said as he brought the redheads hand to his cheek, kissing the side of his wrist.

He sat there for a few minutes, tired and exhausted from the medicine in his system and begged for sleep. It wasn't until he'd swayed onto the bedside table that he felt the hand in his twitch with movement. The beeping on the machine next to him slightly grew and he wearily opened his eyes. "Ro….xas…is that you?" he heard . His eyes snapped up to see green eyes, bloodshot, starring at him if only slightly opened. "Axel! You're awake!" he half-yelled, half-considerate to how the older teen must be feeling. "Yeah…though I can't quite remember going to sleep. I hurt…everywhere." he said with a hoarse voice.

He looked down to Roxas who was clutching his hand with his head down. "Are you…crying?" Axel asked weakly. Roxas sobbed hard. "Of course I'm going to cry. I thought you…were going to leave me." Axel laughed slightly. "Ouch. I remember being shadowed in darkness, telling me to stop looking. I was looking for something. Something warm because it had been cold wherever the hell I was. Then I heard your voice, really faintly. It was telling me to wake up, that it was going to be okay if I woke up. So I did and I felt so warm…I heard your prayers, Roxas. I felt the warmth from your heart."

Roxas let go of another sob, muttering "Thank you" toward Aerith and the crystal. Axel patted the back of Roxas's head lightly. "I've been drugged have I? What did you do, Rox? If you wanted me so much, you could've asked. You didn't have to use ecstasy.." he chuckled with sarcasm. Roxas wiped away a few tears and managed to conjure up a smile. "You damn physco. On your deathbed and still cracking jokes." Roxas said. Axel looked at Roxas . " You look a mess right now…I don't think we can go on dates in public anymore, babe." he chuckled again. "Look who's talking. You're in the intensive care unit. If I leave-this room is going to get all kinds of ugly."

Both teens laughed and groaned when it hurt to the point they wanted to puke. An hour had passed and they had been joking about their new "near-death" experience and cussing out the two drivers between themselves. "I'm pretty dumb-founded that right after I asked you how you'd feel if I left, I was involuntarily forced to almost die. I think I'm going to get traumatized now." he said. Roxas smiled softly. "If you do ever leave somewhere, I'll be sure to follow. Sure, if you ever died, I wouldn't commit suicide." he said. Axel now had the teen's head resting on his chest. He was stroking his hair. "Smart…"

"I think it'd be better to like, pay someone to shoot me." he said with a smile. Axel cocked one eyebrow. "Umm…how hard did you hit your head?" Roxas laughed. "Hard enough to have a concussion but….at least I got some sense knocked into me." he said, drawing circles into the redhead's stomach. " What about?" Axel asked. Roxas looked up at him. "Close your eyes…" he whispered. "Alright but, I'm already hurt enough. I don't need you getting back at me for anything right now." he said with a bitter laugh.

Green eyes flickered open when lips that felt of flower petals pressed themselves again his own. His was startled as the teen drew back. "All this time I haven't taken you seriously, have I? I had noticed the other day that all those girl's you'd been with had been just lab-partner "dates". I was jealous. So now _you _know that I love _you_. I'm bending that straight line of yours." he said with tints of pink at his cheeks. He found a hand tugging him down from the collar of his hospital gown. Lips crashing down onto his. "Roxas…" Axel breathed under his words.

The teen was pulled almost on top of the older teen. Axel had stolen Roxas's tongue and they intertwined, dancing in each other's mouths. Axel's hand raking through Roxas's blond hair. He gave away for breath and licked down the side of the blonds neck, gaining a moan from him. "I'll be damned if that was from whatever injuries you have. Cause whenever I get better…you're losing whatever purity you have. So don't think you'll always get on top of me like this. I bet you just confessed to get some of me when I'm hurt. Taking advantage of an injured….for shame, Rox." he laughed.

"Axel…this is why you never had me before. You talk too damn much." Roxas said, reclaiming the elders lips. This was the beginning of a long relationship. Side by side, forever.

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Okay, this is my first yaoi oneshot. I've experimented on akuroku with like one drabble for something I drew but, that's it. I know the coffee shop thing and Roxas's parents was like "why don't you talk about that" and it doesn't give a good background story of their meeting but….that'd make this into a chapter story and I just wanted to make a oneshot to rid myself of writers block to see if I could manage an akuroku story. Please review if you liked it and think I should write the other things I have in my head. I liked it so, I hope you did too. Please forgive any spelling, grammar errors.

SMDS(SoulessMassacreDreamlessSleep)


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